Why This Matters to Us, the Regular Players
Let’s be honest, most of us who enjoy a punt in New Zealand know someone who likes to have a flutter. Whether it’s a quick go on the pokies, a bet on the All Blacks, or a session at a place like Hell Spin casino online, gambling is part of our culture. Because of this, we’re likely to encounter a mate or whānau member struggling with their gambling. It’s not always easy to spot, but knowing how to help can make a huge difference. This isn’t about judging; it’s about looking out for each other. We’re all in this together, and sometimes, a helping hand is what’s needed most.
Recognising the Signs: Is There a Problem?
The first step is recognising that there might be an issue. Problem gambling isn’t just about how much someone spends; it’s about the impact it has on their life. Here are some things to look out for:
- Chasing Losses: Constantly trying to win back what they’ve lost.
- Hiding Gambling: Being secretive about their gambling habits, or lying about how much they’re spending.
- Financial Trouble: Accumulating debt, borrowing money frequently, or struggling to pay bills.
- Relationship Problems: Arguments with family or friends about money or gambling.
- Withdrawal Symptoms: Becoming irritable, anxious, or restless when they can’t gamble.
- Neglecting Responsibilities: Missing work, neglecting family, or losing interest in hobbies.
- Increased Gambling: Needing to gamble more and more to get the same level of excitement.
If you see several of these signs in a friend or family member, it’s time to have a chat.
Starting the Conversation: How to Approach the Topic
Talking about someone’s gambling can be tricky. Here’s how to approach the conversation:
- Choose the Right Time and Place: Pick a private, comfortable setting where you can talk without distractions. Avoid doing it when they’re actively gambling or after a big win or loss.
- Show You Care: Start by expressing your concern and letting them know you’re there to support them. Use « I » statements, like « I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately, and I’m worried about you. » Avoid blaming or judging.
- Be Specific: Instead of saying, « You gamble too much, » point out specific behaviours you’ve observed, such as « I’ve noticed you’ve been missing work to go to the TAB. »
- Listen More Than You Talk: Let them share their feelings and experiences without interruption. Try to understand their perspective.
- Avoid Giving Financial Advice: Unless you’re a qualified financial advisor, steer clear of offering financial solutions. This can complicate the situation.
- Don’t Enable: Avoid lending them money or covering their debts. This can prolong the problem.
What to Say (And What NOT to Say)
Here are some examples of what to say and what to avoid:
What to Say:
- « I’m worried about you. »
- « I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately. »
- « I’m here to listen if you want to talk. »
- « Is there anything I can do to help? »
- « Have you considered talking to someone about this? »
What NOT to Say:
- « You’re just a gambler. » (Judgmental)
- « You need to stop gambling immediately. » (Demanding)
- « I told you so. » (Blaming)
- « Just stop losing. » (Unrealistic)
- « I’ll fix this for you. » (Enabling)
Finding Help: Resources in Aotearoa
You’re not alone in this. There are plenty of resources available in New Zealand to help your friend or family member. Here are some options:
Gambling Helpline
The Gambling Helpline is a free, confidential service available 24/7. They offer counselling, information, and support. You can call them on 0800 654 655 or visit their website.
Problem Gambling Foundation
This organisation provides education, treatment, and support services for people affected by problem gambling. They have regional offices throughout New Zealand.
Te Hiringa Hauora
Te Hiringa Hauora (Health Promotion Forum of New Zealand) offers resources and information on gambling harm prevention.
Your GP
Your friend or family member’s GP can provide a referral to a specialist or offer support.
Supporting Them Through Recovery
Recovery from problem gambling takes time and effort. Here’s how you can support your friend or family member:
- Be Patient: Relapses can happen. Don’t get discouraged.
- Encourage Professional Help: Encourage them to seek professional counselling or therapy.
- Set Boundaries: Protect yourself and your finances.
- Offer Practical Support: Help them find support groups or activities to fill their time.
- Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate their progress.
- Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone with a gambling problem can be emotionally draining. Make sure you look after your own well-being.
The Importance of Confidentiality
Respecting their privacy is crucial. Unless there’s a risk of harm to themselves or others, keep their struggles confidential. This builds trust and encourages them to seek help.
Conclusion: Lending a Hand, Building a Stronger Community
Helping a mate or family member with a gambling problem is a challenge, but it’s also a chance to show compassion and support. By recognising the signs, starting the conversation with care, and guiding them towards available resources, you can make a real difference. Remember, recovery is a journey, and your support can be invaluable. By looking out for each other, we can build a stronger, more supportive community here in Aotearoa. Kia kaha.